Google maps

Google is tracking me. Maybe it’s for my own good.

Setup: driving to Langley. She’s driving and I am co-piloting. Google maps is providing the real-time navigation instructions. Using a nice feminine voice. “Stay in the right lane. At the next exit, keep right at the fork.”

My girlfriend notes the feminine voice. “Why do you have a woman for your navigation assistant?” she says, not overly impressed. I muttered something or other under my breath, not wanting to stir up any misunderstandings. You get my drift.

Minutes later, we arrive at our destination. My knuckles are white and I am biting my tongue. You get my drift.

Under my breath (so I think) I mutter “I think I’m going crazy.”

“Actually, thinking you are going crazy is a good sign that you are not. Most people diagnosed with schizophrenia have no awareness of their condition.” says Google maps, in her cheery voice.

Thanks Google. That cheered me up.

 

 

 

 

 

The Groundhogs Nailed It

You got to hand it to the groundhogs. Yesterday was Groundhog day, and here in Metro Vancouver it was gorgeous. The groundhog must have seen his shadow, and look at what that foretold.

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February 3, 2017, 7 cm of snow in North Vancouver.

Coincidence? Or Alternative Facts?

Speaking of predictions and Alternative Facts, my favourite predicted winner, old President Whatshisname, seems to have created an entire department devoted to the subject of Alternative Facts. His new press secretary Spicer possibly gets many of his facts from the three F’s: Fox News, Facebook and Fantasy. At least that’s better than the three K’s. Additionally, good old Kellyann must be drinking the same punch as Spicer.